Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I must say it was good to hear from the Doctor. However the 8lbs he is up I am down plus a few extra and I am starting to the kankle power returning. The Lost Vally Night Relay was pretty sick. Not quite as sick as coach's book of which I only made it through chapter four "Down the Jenkem River on the Cleveland Steamer". But sick like Coach and myself battling to a 4Th place finish with almost 4 identical lap times. Thanks to Mason Storm for setting it up and sitting it out so that we all could race. He does deserve a punch in the nards for it being a geared bike coarse. What was that about? I could smell my chain burning as I spun over the fire roads. Oh well in other news I picked up some new kicks from the Doodz at the hub nothing to sweet but just sweet enough to kick the doctors arse with down in Durango for the SSWC.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Things were good

Well I was riding more. So much so that I wasn't posting on here. I mean lets face it what would I want to type about rides that I have done when I could be out riding? Well just when things seems to be going great I blew the seals on my Fork out. Since Fox's service department sucks I am screwed for a little while. Oh well time to blow the dust off of the road bike and see if i can climb hills after the awesome short track series we all enjoyed on those glorious thursdor nights. so until I can dig up the money to fix my fork I will leave you with this image to be burned into your heads because it is just sweet. Pe@ce
And this image because i think Coach needs one

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

nice early road ride

Yesterday afternoon as I was pouring my brain though the keyboard of one of the mac G5's at school Andy Hodge texted me the plan for an early morning ride. Naturally I accepted. I then invited Coach along seeing as he has been one of the most consistant riding buddies that I have had in the last three years. If Matt ever leaves The Lou I will have to start memorizing roads and routes because, he normally navigates as well. The sheer magnitude of different roads and connecters that combine for routes that he has stored in his head is in fact mind blowing. The one flaw he has is this lust for 13 year ol...Anyway the Three of us set off at 630am and spun around west county. St.Paul to ridge to old state to strecker to 109 to reiger to wildhorse creek to hart to ossenfort to melrose to woods to pierside back to old state and ridge to saint paul and back to the start. 42 miles 16.6mph average 2 and half hours with 3174feet of climbing. I must say it was a nice way to start my day off.

A big congrats to Chris Ploch and his big weekend! Good thing I learned how to ride from this guy but bad that it doesn't show.

Monday, July 6, 2009

The Long Awaited Easter Bike

Due to how poorly constructed my last post was I though it best to update as soon as possible. Feel free to exhale now (as long as Coach is not within 50 feet) because here are the promised photos of the Bi G Unit, Easter Bike, Pussy Wagon, f*cking gay bike, or whatever it is you like to call my 2009 Kona Big Unit. I had it originally set up with 32/18 but switched to a 17 tooth cog for the first short track race last Thursday. That was an unmarked improvement to say the least. The Truvative Noir Carbon riser bar is a new addition as are the Pink Velocity VXC rims laced to my old DT 240's. Enjoy and I hope to see you all at the next short track race or merely tooling around one of the many fine trails that we have here in Missouri. Don't be shy say hi or flip me the bird either way I'll still be riding my bike and you can't take that away from me. Pe@ce
In all her Glory



The Bling


The 18 tooth drive wheel


When this kid saw my bike he couldn't help but punch his sister

Friday, July 3, 2009

"It looks like a barn with no doors"

That was the statement made about the covered bridge on the infamous covered bridge ride. I have been felling pretty strong while riding and have had time on my hands so i have actually been getting some miles in.

I started with with 3 mild tours of castlewood in 3 consecutive days (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday). Tuesday was with Dr and Steve AKA Jonathan Cold. Wednesday was solo and Thursday was with and Old friend from Illinois, Andy and his friend Eric. Pretty Mild. After riding on Thursdor it was back to TC MAN to switch to a harder gear for the start of the Short Track Series.

Sort Track is by far the most fun I have had racing period. I say this keeping in mind that I have yet to race Cyclocross. I was stoke and ready to go sitting atop a 32/17. This, I found out pretty much when the whistle blew, was way to easy of a gear for these races. I spun long and hard and came in pretty close to last. I did manage to get one last sprint near the end to edge out a ICCC rider I had been trading places with all race. All in all a good race, good people, and good food. A huge thanks to Pfoodman for once again putting it on.

Have a Happy 4th everyone and blow as much crap up as possible.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Holly Hell its Hot

For all of you who decided to not show up at MWFTS race yesterday you all missed out on some amazing trails. Mark did a fantastic job preping this coarse and the Re routes were just as sick as the traditional face melting single track that is St.Joes.

The Heat was a killer and as soon as I stepped out of I was sweating. A sign of what was to come over the next 3 and a half hours. I lined up Near Seagal Soldier Jack Tagart (Jiim Valentine) and got set for the marathon start. I had no idea how awesome the trails would be. The pinicle of single track: fast, flowy, grinding climbs, long decents, hard corners to drift the rear wheel around nothing short of perfect.

As we wet into the woods I hoped in behind Eric Schuck, Pfood, and Tagart. I yo-yoed behind Schuck as we snaked though the woods. I finally reeled him in just before he passed Pfood We both caught Tagart who let us around. Pfood and I trade places though the first lap and into the second before I was able to pull away but at a severe price. I had drained my camble back and now only had about 3 bottles left as i cam in from lap two I ditched the pack, Grabbed a fresh bottle, and stuffed a power bar into my face which had melted all over my jersey. The third lap found me churning along I caught two other riders one of which ended up getting away from me on lap four. As I neared the end of the lap I was out of water and getting goose bumps. I grabbed another bottle this one with rocket fuel in it and headed out for lap four at the 2:52 mark of the race. More of the same followed as I was being to lose focus and was getting pretty sloppy. Dwayne passed lapped me close to the finish line still looking fresh. I kept my head down though and made it across the line at 3:39:30 earning a 6th place finish out of 14 starters. I am pretty happy with that and look forward to getting back out on the Bi G Unit. Pe@ce

Sunday, June 14, 2009

keep on keepin' on

My miles are slowly but surely racking up. I now have about as many and everyone had at the end of the first week in January. I seem to have broken that rev limitor that has keep the legs from crushing hills and flowing at a even cadence. The power is returning. I have a little over a 100 miles in the last week. So write home and tell your family that the Robortion is coming.

PS- as of right now i don't have access to a digital camera so no Pics of the easter bike will take a little time to put up.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

I'm back...sorf of

It has been a long time since my scrot graced the seat of a mountain bike. So last week when I finally got my Big Unit Built up and running I was stoked to relearn how to ride a single speed again. Not as easy as I remember from the days of 160lb-riding-everyday-Robort. So I did what would make sense to anyone who hates themselves and signed up with thoughts of sugar plums dancing in my head.

Race Day. I haven't had one of these since the BT epic in October of 2008. After dealing with the butterflies and warming up I lined up in the back of the marathon class near the Doctor awaiting the start of our 3 hour race. We couldn't have asked for a better morning: overcast and raining. The start was pretty normal everyone trying to gain position and on top of the fact that it was muddy made it all the more interesting. I entered the into the woods behind The Doctor, Pfoodman, and some other dude wearing a day glow yellow jersey. I was feeling pretty good despite sliding around everyone corner but so was everyone else. I passed yellow jersey dood and was following Pfood when I slid sideways on a climb and ran into a tree enough to stop me and get my ass passed by 4 riders. The race didn't get much better. The second lap saw the end of the rain but the trail was still very slick and was draining the legs with zero traction on climbs, and well climbs. My first two laps took me 1hr and 4 min I was on pace to complete my goal of 6 laps. On my second lap I passed Dwayne who was having flat trouble and gave him a tube unfortunately this didn't help him out much and I saw him again and again as he walked the trail back giving us all encouragement because he is pro as hell. Lap three sucked just because it was lap three. I finished and set out for lap four they were starting to blend together and the only other riders I was seeing where the Experts, who Rocketed past me on a climb, and some straggling sport riders. Four laps in the books and wondering if I would be able to get the fifth in with enough time to get in a sixth. I grabbed a bottle of Cytomax and that was a huge booster. The legs where coming back around to the point that I saw The Doctor at teh top of a climb talking to Dwayne. He saw me as well and dropped the hammer leaving me with a "Suck It Robort". As I headed toward the line I was almost sure it was after the 3 hour cut off so I passed by my cooler with out picking up any more water. I was then informed that it had only been 2 hrs and 49 min since the start and I headed back out to destroy my sixth lap and complete my goal. I realized after about 5 min that I didn't have any water left. this made the last 4.5 miles very fun. So there you have it the First race is in the books St. Joe'S is next I might do single speed class not sure all I know is that I am back.

Monday, May 18, 2009

It has arived

Teh Big Unit was just dropped off at TC MAN. And I must say that it looks glorious!!!! more to come so sit tight.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

No news to really report on. I rode into work on back to back days giving myself 80 more miles. Nothing to write home about. I have been meaning to post this vid for a little over a week now so enjoy and this is the bike that I was riding.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Midnight Cowboy

Good day ladies and gentlemen. Doctor Goscinski here, and man do I have a story to tell you. About two days ago, Robort and I got a call at the TC Man from none other than Tropical Midget Storm Mason. The reason for his call: Midnight Century time. The plan was to meet at TMSM's just before the bewitching hour, mount our road bicycles, and crush out a hundred miles while the competition was sleeping soundly in their beds. Well, everyone but Dwayne anyways. Honestly I expected to see him out for a spin at some point during the evening, but no such sighting occurred, maybe he was out doing Berryman laps. At any rate, shortly after the designated time, TMSM, Nico Toscani, Robort, and I departed and set a course for pain country.

At this point, it is important to understand the huge, enormous amount of shit that I gave Robort as soon as I learned of his intention of going. This one ride would double Robort's mileage for the year so far, a feat that I was sure he could not achieve. For at least two solid days I let Robort have it with both barrels, after all if he couldn't withstand that abuse, there is no way he would survive the ride. All the while Robort assured me that I would eat my words, but the off color and not appropriate for children comments kept coming.

After a warm up lap of Nico and I's Forest Park century course (yes, we really for some reason did a century entirely in Forest Park. I really have no explanation for why anyone would chose such a course of action) We found ourselves headed in the direction of lovely Creve Couer lake via Midland. From there it was the Chesterfield flats, to Hog Hollow (entirely painful on a single speed) We continued in a westwardly fashion on Olive until it becomes Clarkson. I am not sure exactly how as this was only the second time I had been in this area, but I think we took Clayton to Khers mill, to Strecker, to easily the best part of the ride: Shepard. I had done this stretch only once before, and in the opposite direction at that. Nico and I thoroughly enjoyed our 42x16 and 42x15 (respectively) single speed domination of this climb. From there we decided that the only logical course of action was to climb Marshall, so that is where we pointed our bicycles. Finish the ride up with a jaunt down the Grant's trail (which even at 4:00 in the a.m has joggers) through the city, a little ways up the RFT and then back through the city to TMSM's for BBQ and Brews, lots of brews. So many brews in fact, that I awoke at about 3:00 P.M. laying on TMSM's porch to the lovely Mrs. Doctor kicking me and telling me I told Robort I would be at the shop by 3:30 so he could go to school, and that she had come to take me there. Holy shit.

All in all, it was an amazing ride. By the end of the ride, everyone involved had been awake for about 30 hours or so, ridden at least 100 miles, climbed around 4,000 ft., and had a kick ass time. Robort rode strong the entire time, finishing the ride no problem, thereby successfully doubling his mileage for the year. I was after all forced to eat my hilarious, delicious words. The truly impressive part is that Robort showed up to work on time @ 10:00 a.m., he then promptly fell asleep. It's for the better though, all we had to drink was delicious beer (Schlafly APAs and Stouts) and Robort only drinks Zima. Oh, and going to work drunk isn't as much fun as it sounds like it would be.

Monday, April 13, 2009

Rejoyce!!

For the blues hath made the playoffs. I have been waiting to say that for 4 long seasons now and my loyalty has finally paid off.

In other news the XTRDr Goscinski has offically taken over my blog. However, I welcome him as a co-poster seeing as he has more to say then I ever do.

And now for the mildly exciting news which is more exciting then the first couple of sentences that were written (Except for the Blues making the playoffs. If this didn't send a rush of blood somewhere then you are in fact a homo). I got out for another hour ride that kicked my fat ass. I really hate feeling like this. seriously! Also I started building up my awesome wheelset of death (My death that is because they will undoubtabley fail while I am trying to ride over my head during a race that my only preparation for was complaining about not having ride time and eating as much chocolate, chicken and sugar free energy drinks as I can in a 24 hour period.





AND NOW TO ADDRESS THE NAME CHANGE. Myself and the Doctor ordered some bars from Truvativ namely the Noir World cup (I purchased a riser and the Doctor a flat bar). On the shipping address I entered in Robert "Kankles" Metz. Well the creative minds at Sram Corp. Decided to have some fun with this and sent the package to:
Thus proving how awesome they are.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Doctor Goscinski's Amazing Blog Suka!!!!!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, your Doctor's blog has grown too badass to be contained by the comments section any longer. It's spilled out to the main page. Holy shit. Actually Robort just left himself signed in on the computer at work. You'd think he would learn after last year when I posted as him coming out of the closet on STLbiking. The Ouachita Challenge is a race worthy of an honest to Energor blog post anyway, so here goes.

This year was my second go at this race. Last year the race itself was the longest MTB ride I had ever been on, I had no idea what I was getting into. This year I was much more prepared, knew what the climbs would be like, and knew what to expect from the giant cyclocross barrier known as Blowout Mtn (great for working on your mounts and dismounts). Our pre-ride the day before the race had me pretty excited to get started, the trail was super buff, and there was a fair amount of climbing before the single track to split the pack up a bit, which is great if you are on a single speed. After having a kick ass time camping with Team Trail Monster we packed up and made our way to the race. Starting time found Nico, Tropical Storm Ma(rio)son, and I at the back of the pack talking with some Cow-Town dudes. As soon as the roll out began we implemented our strategy of passing as many people as possible before entering the single track. I could see Nico just ahead of me spinning his nuts off and bobbing and weaving through the pack so I followed his lead. Going into the Womble I was in a good position, 3rd or 4th of the Single speeds, and I was feeling great. Then I got a rear flat. As I sat at the side of the trail fixing it I watched a good deal of the people I had pushed past on the initial climbs go past me, what a sinking feeling. I got it going as quick as I could and tried to make up some ground. It really makes a difference riding closer to the front of the pack, the faster dudes ride the technical stuff cleanly, and keep the pace consistent. Having to re-pass so many people can really slow you down.

After the 1st aid station I hit the highway by myself and started spinning, man was it windy. After what seemed like an eternity of highway and fire roads I was glad to see the single track again. The Ouachita Trail section of the race is absolutely brutal. While you are praying for single track on the fire roads leading up to it, you are praying for fire road again by the end of it. Steep, rocky, and relentless, but soooo much fun. The descents are as mind blowing as the rock gardens are ankle braking. On this section I finally started seeing people again, after being alone for miles. I was able to pick off several riders on the Blowout, and Big Brushy sections. I recognized a lot of the trail from the previous year so I knew when I was getting close to the end. The trail popped me out on the last fire road section and I hammered all the way back to the finish, dropping three more geared riders in the process. Nico greeted me at the finish line with pizza and a fresh PBR pint. I took 6th in single speed and 59th overall with a 6:30. This is the same amount of time it took me last year, but with the course being 10 miles longer this year with 1,000 more feet of climbing I was pretty pleased.

Things I learned this weekend:

1. It would take about 45 PBR pints to replace 9,000 calories.
2. TSM is a cuddler
3. Nico does have an odor very similar to rancid month old Sonic
4. Don't get flat tires
5. Having a sweet mullet makes you go faster

Monday found us rolling back to the STL in an extremely foul smelling Toyota, almost as sweet as my new whip, which can been seen in all it's glory on the Team Seagal page along with TSM and Nico's glorious race recaps. Until next time, don't be a dick. Oh, and check the Seagal page here:

Friday, March 27, 2009

The 100th Post


That's right in the same year that the Montreal Canadians celebrate their Centennial I too celebrate mine. I wish it were something more exciting then informing you that I rode from Tc to Loan wolf and back again. stopping at the bank and whole foods for some tasty Blue Cheese Buffalo chicken sausages (If you haven't had one I suggest you put one in you mouth soon and often).

I would also like to point out that in Mason Storm's last comment his spelling and grammar where far worse then mine (in that post). As for the GF, she is real and gorgeous so stop your hating.

In other news I found a picture of Davey B eating his post workout meal.

Pe@ce

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Wordnorsdor

I got out on the ro-ad bike last night after work for a solid hour. Headed down Antire toward 44, hooked a left toward the Police shooting range and the quaries, then cut under 44 at lewis road, and did 4-5 laps of Route 66. I Salted in a couple sprints for flavor and headed back with with the finally of climbing my entire hill (I normally stop at my house). Nothing too hard just taking another step.

I was pleased to see three legit comments on my last post. However, I feel a large void with the XTDr no longer posting on his blog.

Word to your Mothers.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Im at the bridge

Since being back in school and trying to work full time I knew that my cycling would have to be put on the back burner. I watched as my weight went up and my fitness went down. Many (and by many I mean all three of you that read my blog) know this as a skyentific fact. I knew I was sliding down the muddy hill into the bog of obesity knowing full well the ever looming season was going to be a pain fest for me. "I will cross that bridge when I get there." became my motto. On Saturday set a my size 10 shimano m225 attached the a gargantuan kankle on that rickety bridge.

Alpine shop and namely Uber fast and newly appointed 29er crew racer Chris Ploch was cool enough to hook me up with a Gary Fischer Hi-Fi. A pretty sick ride which I took out to lost valley with Pfoodman, Thrasher, and Eric Schuck. The old guys showed me what was up and left me churning along gasping for breath through mucus encrusted lips. I was beaten but not defeated. and on Sunday after work was back out on hwy94 riding with a reinvented Matt Hoffmeyer who has attacked fitness, captured it, and forced it to live in his basement and wear a gimp suit. He also showed me what was up (Hoffmeyer not the gimp).

After the chord stopped glowing bright red I realize it felt f'ing good to be back out on the trails. Looking foreword to taking another step.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

How I hate the pane

I got off of work on Sunday will all the intensions of building up and nice shiny ghey set of mountain bike wheels. So maybe not brand new since I am using my DT240 hubs for the simple reason that they still rock and also because I have not broken them yet. Which wasn't the case for the Kings that are awaiting servicing from a man. More on the new wheels when they are built. But Sunday evening found me doing other things

Whats this you say he is complaining school beating his free time into non existance yet he is building up a new set of ghey wheels? Shouldn't he ride a bike first and regain the very low level of fitness that he once clutched to the day he won Winghaven? Ah good reader you are right in you assumption but your lack of knowledge is what makes you the reader and me the writer of this boring and unimportant tale. Sunday was my longest ride ever. By ever I mean this year. I 2hours and 30 or so min later I found myself gasping for breath in the dark as i rolled down my driveway with 39 miles under my lycra tights. I would like the thank the XTRDr for helping my make the desision to go ride instead of build up my wheels and for the soap on a rope it makes removal of said soap much easier.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Clothes teh Poles

Yesterday at 4:15pm I got on the road bike and embarked on a nice little lollie (you wish matt). So whoever was the closest to February 16th wins the all of the money that I am sure was bet on how long I would complain about not riding and finally man up.

It seriously hurt. 23miles at just over a 14mph pace through some of the jefferson county hills. It was no 93mile death march on the major summits of west county but it damn near killed me. It was more like a French asualt during WW2, I just couldn't raise the white flag fast enough. However, inspired by the XTRDr I am planning a smalled flatter ride from school today. Be prepared to whitness a Robortion this season it will be brutal.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Huffing F*ING SH*T Batman

I never thought I would ever see the day when my friends would group up against me in order for me to breath the waste that destroys life and the business of TCman (If have never heard the story of minister getting blamed for a forty foot creeper then I pitty you) But lets face it I was gifted with an Iron stomach that has allowed me to see Hoffmeyers face when i ate a roach for $5. And made $10 eating flies at starbucks. However, human waste is another issue altogether. As the price rises so do the stipulations. Truth be told I am no closer to huffing the poo gas then i was the day the idea was first brought to me by one of Energor's prophets. The question is how high is everyone willing to stack the pot.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

the parasite

well i kind of figured that all the poop talk in my comments had killed my blog (I am well aware the real reason was my lack of riding and my overwhelming stock pile of excuses for not wanting to ride.) However, Doctor never gave up and has shocked my blog back to life with a jenkem fueled defibrilater. Now all i have to do is get the bike back between my legs and figure out how to climb hillz again. Speeking of riding the paperwork for the Big Unit will faxed out before the end of the week just waiting on some funds to be freed up. On that note I will have to pass on the $50 in excange for huffing jenkem for 2 main reasons. First: I would hate to be test positive (after winging say winghaven) for doping and secondly I now have a girlfriend (proving that I AM NOT GHEY) and she said no (she is part german but has become to americanized). So yeah I out~

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

pre-pare yourself


I have been trying to get myself back into the mindset of working out. I still haven't been on a bike in a few months that will change and change in a Big way. I am challenging myself in a new way for 2009. Hopefully it will get my ready for domination in 2010!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

the new post

So here it is; the truth. I have been sitting around doing nothing since Arkansas. That was mid november. I went to the gym twice and have run once. I am burned the F' out! School killed me and coming after a season of broken parts bike parts and last place finishes I turned to the refuge of inactivity and my old friend sweet chocolate. So this is the update. hope you all enjoyed it. Now its time for taxes and filing for student loans. Cheers to a shinny new 2009 that dangles over our heads like a giant razor blade.